Transform Conversations in 4 Simple Steps with Dr. Suanne Lewis

through the day kind of putting on this

2

facial mask of looking very interested

or looking very serious or looking very

3

friendly, but then we come home, we

need to relax and just be who we are.

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Welcome to the Core Happiness Podcast.

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I'm your host, Kacee Banks , a

mindset and positive psychology coach.

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On this podcast, we discuss all things

related to creating happiness from within.

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so let's do it

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Welcome to the Core Happiness Podcast.

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Today I'm joined by Dr.

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Lewis, a psychologist, author, and

instructor of Tai Chi and Yoga.

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What the Passion for Storytelling, Dr.

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Lewis uses, It teaches tales to

help people develop self awareness,

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build relationships and mindfully

engage with the world around them.

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She has worked with individuals of

all ages, using stories as a powerful

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tool for learning and connection.

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And this episode, we are going

to explore how storytelling can

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transform conversations, her

four step approach to meaningful

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connection and the expanding spiral of

communication across all generations.

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will be a free resource for

you, our listeners from Dr.

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Lewis.

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So be sure to check out the

show notes So let's dive in.

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Lewis, welcome to the podcast.

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So, so happy to have you here.

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Thank you for inviting me.

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course, you have such a diverse background

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and I'm so excited for this conversation

because not only are you a psychologist,

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you are an author, it's like multifaceted.

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And I am so intrigued by that.

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What inspired you to integrate all these

different disciplines to your work.

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been interested in being a helping

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professional and so for years I

worked as a social worker and then.

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my training to be a psychologist.

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After that, I got a post doctorate in

neuropsychology, I just like to learn.

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in the process of that, I think part

of it is that I observed that my

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mother was a very anxious person.

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And, um, An unhappy kind of

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39

unfulfilled, I guess.

40

I think that prompted me to work harder

to find interests that I was enjoying.

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42

Mm hmm.

43

did not want to be anxious.

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I did not want that to

spill over into the world.

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so I began to practice meditation and

learned Tai Chi, so eventually, I was

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working in a psychiatric hospital and

observing that because I'm a physical

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person, as I would do therapy, I might

walk with people and help them calm

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down as we're talking And I began to

realize that folks often when they're

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anxious, don't work with their bodies.

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Their bodies are foreign to them.

51

Mm hmm.

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move in a comfortable way.

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And so I wanted to be able to

teach them how to have control

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over at least something.

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They were committed to a hospital.

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They were on medications.

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They had people taking care of

them and I just felt that they

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needed to be more independent.

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And so that's when I got my

teaching, Accreditations for Tai

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Chi, which I had been fascinated by

for a long time, as well as yoga.

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And they absolutely helped

me, and so I continue that

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and I, I still teach Tai Chi.

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I teach gentle, yoga than I used to as

I've gotten older, but I use it every day.

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That's beautiful.

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My father used to take a couple of classes

and he would say that it's very mind body.

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It's more focused on the

mind body connection.

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would you agree with that?

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Oh, absolutely.

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Because it's moving energy and

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we are energy

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hmm, mm hmm.

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energy in, we move it through our energy

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centers and through our energy channels.

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we can begin to experience that from a.

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a cognitive or a conscious point of view,

but also from an emotional perspective.

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And, it's, it's just a wonderful practice.

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And I've actually used that with

people who have had strokes, who have

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impaired movement and helping them

move their arms and focusing and.

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Just feeling that, sense of

energy moving through them.

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because it is general,

but it's healing as well.

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It builds immune response you

got me started on something.

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I'm just delighted with

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I think you're delighted about all the

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things we're going to talk about today.

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So that's good.

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speaking of things that you are excited

about, I know a lot of your writings

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focus on telling tales and storytelling.

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And I was hoping you could tell

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us what drew you to storytelling

as a way to get people to connect.

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Mm

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tell stories, people.

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visualize what you're talking about.

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They visualize the characters

and the scenes and they hear the

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language and they hear words that

maybe they haven't heard before.

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kind of an example of that

when I think of stories.

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I think of my grandmother who lived

next door to me and she was of Welsh

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background, very quiet, little baker.

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housekeeper woman.

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I would run over there because I just like

to escape and I like to chase her cat.

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the cat didn't like me so I would run

after the cat and meet my grandmother on

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the back porch and she would invite me to

a swing on the front porch with the cat.

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we would swing and she would

calm the cat and she would

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calm her little granddaughter.

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But she would tell stories about

Her background and she would use

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these terms like flibbertigibbet and

these Welsh words that I found to be

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fascinating and so I always wanted her

to tell me something about those words.

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so to me, stories have related

to me to comfortable times, to

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I was very much loved and soothed by my

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grandmother, but also my extended family.

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I had a nice extended family.

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The idea of stories is that, we all

tell stories, that's what makes us

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human, because we can relate our

histories in a way that animals can't,

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Words also can be magical.

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The emotions related to those words

and the situations help us to develop

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a sense of how we relate to the world

and how we relate to other people.

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And so It presents us with a non

threatening way expressing ourselves

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without having to tell something

specific about our background

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or a problem we had that day.

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We can relate to it in another way

But in that way we can learn how

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to problem solve and how to think

through things, which helps build,

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particularly children, helps build

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126

Mm hmm.

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without it being so threatening.

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Now we can talk about, a

bullying situation in a story.

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And the child doesn't have to relate to

us how they were bullied that day and

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how that made them cry and one of their

friends just teased them about that.

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We can relate to them with

this story and they can talk

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about, I didn't like that bully.

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I, I wish that he would

have done this or that.

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And I would.

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never want to be his friend again.

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Mm hmm.

137

it's a little bit more abstract.

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And so that gives an opportunity to

talk and relate in a way that's non

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threatening, but very meaningful.

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Yeah, and it sounds like especially the

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example with the child and the bullying,

it sounds like storytelling can be a

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way to tap into that self awareness

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Absolutely.

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of how you're feeling.

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saying, what did you do or how did,

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147

Mm

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But let's talk about this bully.

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what do you think should

happen with this situation?

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it gives a way to be a little bit

farther removed so that you're

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not so caught up in the emotions.

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You can relate to the emotions, but you're

not so caught up in them that you freeze.

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what we do, when we get

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anxious or scared or stressed.

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I know the example was with a

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child and bullying, but is this

something for all ages, like with

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storytelling and the connection?

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Oh, I think so, yeah.

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I mean, I think we relate to myths.

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sure you've heard of

the ugly duckling story

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that idea that sometimes we

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don't fit into a group and the

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Mm hmm.

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Mm.

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Mm

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yet that doesn't mean that we don't

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fit in with other groups and it's

a matter of, continuing on until we

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find that group or that commonality

that makes us feel comfortable.

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recognized and accepted.

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when you talk about problem solving

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and conflicts and maybe resolving

conflicts, is storytelling successful?

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And I know you said the word

removed, but is it sort of to help

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with emotional regulation in terms

of being able to convey how you're

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feeling without, self censoring?

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certainly.

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Yeah.

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And one of the ways the book

I've written, do you know how

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to talk with your young child?

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one of the ways that I look at censoring

is by using that four step approach

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that I, I talk about where If you

can engage a child in a conversation,

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if you can really set an intention

talk with your child at least 20

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minutes a week, but certainly more

than that would be wonderful, but,

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that quiet special time where you and

the child are just together, You do

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two things that are really important.

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One is that you get rid of the wiggles.

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And I don't mean wiggles for just the

child, I mean wiggles for the adult

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as well, because we build up tension.

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We go through the day kind of putting

on this facial mask of looking very

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interested or looking very serious

or looking very friendly, but then we

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come home, we perhaps need to relax

our face and just be who we are.

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We need to lower our shoulders because

most of us are sitting and texting

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like this for a lot of the day,

and so we might need to stretch our

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legs or whatever part of our bodies

have been stressed during the day.

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Little ones have been

running, jumping, playing.

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rolling around in the dirt.

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And so they too need

to get the wiggles out.

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And so part

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Yeah,

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of stretching.

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And it could be just like, a yoga

where we stretch each arm over and

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stretch a couple of times, whatever

it is, the focus attention, and this

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is where much media the phone dinging,

the text, the, computer calling our

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name in some way, social media, have

shortened our attention spans.

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Social media is grand in lots of ways

but our attention spans are pulled in

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a variety of directions and so really

being able to work on attention span

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for just a moment that child or helps

that adult be able to turn off those

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things and do some deep breathing

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and it can be as simple as breathing

down into the belly, up into the

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chest, holding that for four counts,

and then releasing the chest.

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releasing the belly, squeezing the belly

in so that the diaphragm releases toxins,

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holding it out for a few counts, and doing

that a few times, and then even setting

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an intention after you've done that That's

a way of being able to cope with talking

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and problem solving in a way that's non

threatening and in a way that's genuine

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one thing that I talk about, in that whole

process of the four steps is to make that,

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a delight, to make that a special time.

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And I know you mentioned the, four

219

step, approach to conversing and

connecting that you developed.

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could you actually take us

through what those four steps are?

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the first one, would be the stretching.

223

Mm hmm.

224

book, I have several different stories.

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And so with each one, I have different

stretches and different breathing

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techniques to focus attention.

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So the stretching would be the first one

to release muscle tension and, and to

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release tension and the stress of the day.

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And then the It looks like

you can relate to that.

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231

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think a lot of people can.

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It's, it's the, especially since the

pandemic and a lot of people are working

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remotely and working at home, I hear a

lot where the decompression time that

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you would normally have at the end

of the day just isn't there anymore.

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so I think a lot of people

are struggling with that.

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I think a lot of people

can relate to that.

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Well, I agree with you and it's

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interesting because I used to drive

about 10 miles to work and 10 miles

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back and that let me release tension.

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But if traffic was heavy, my

shoulders would come up around my

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ears and my hands would be on the

steering wheel gripped for a while.

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And so then, I would need to

stretch my fingers, and stretch

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my shoulders, and stretch my neck.

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And so those are the kinds of things

that I would do in that first step.

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And the second step would be

then, just focus our attention.

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And by that, I think about the term

mindfulness that we hear so much,

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and it can become meaningless when

we hear a term repeatedly, but when I

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think about mindfulness, I think about

being totally the spot where we're in.

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We are attention to the

person who's in front of us.

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We're paying attention

to our own feelings.

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We're not thinking about what

happened 10 minutes ago or yesterday.

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We're not thinking about what

we're going to do tomorrow.

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We're not thinking about the text that

just dinged on the phone or anything.

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We're right there.

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And it could be that, in that

step, we would do a deep breathing

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we would just sink into the

soles of our feet and just, ah.

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But, The, the real intention is

to just let go of those and then

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building that quiet space might

be to not have a set space that's

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set aside but that it's quiet.

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The TV is off.

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there aren't any, machines calling

your name And so that becomes

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a really rewarding place where

you're just paying attention.

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to talking.

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And then the story, the stories

that I write typically are tails.

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and by that I mean that they set up

a situation, and most of them have

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animals in them, and the animals talk,

or communicate with us in some way.

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they're setting up a situation like,

friendship, forgiveness, taking

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responsibility, being assertive,

dealing with jealousy, things like that,

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and so they're just kind of general.

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Themes, it's setting the groundwork,

the description, the visual the

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characters, and how they might feel.

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is there a problem?

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How would you deal with that problem?

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And so, when we talk about the step

about communicating, we're telling

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the story, and we're communicating

by using open ended questions.

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We're communicating by, not asking

why, because when we ask why questions,

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that can make someone feel defensive,

279

Mm hmm.

280

so we asked, tell me more about that?

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what else were you thinking

about in regard to that?

282

But with the communication,

listening with your body.

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Now, by that I mean that

you listen with your eyes.

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You look that person and how

they're responding to you.

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Are they comfortable?

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Are they anxious?

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Are they jittery?

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You listen with your ears.

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You hear their voice tone.

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their, volume.

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what they're saying and the pauses

when they're not saying anything.

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you hear the rhythm of their voice.

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Is it slow and dull and worried?

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You listen with your heart.

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By that I mean that you project and

feel that love and acceptance and

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interest in somebody who's different

from you, even though they're your child

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loved one, or they're your employee.

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You're listening because

they're very different.

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they have different experiences

from you every single moment.

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And in your eyes, you let them know

that you really care about them.

301

And want to hear what they have to say.

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you also listen with your

positioning, your posture.

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You want to look interested, so you

want to be relaxed, but you might lean

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forward if you want to hear the person,

if they're speaking quietly or, if

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you both feel comfortable, you might

want to be close and touch hands or

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touch one another lightly, it depends

on the relationship that you have.

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And so, those are ways that I think

about, That third step of communication,

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the fourth step is simply engaging and

willing to share something about how you

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see the story or how you're interested in

their answers and what that might be like.

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that's the engagement and the engagement

is a long term process, that building

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over time, the respect and, the trust in

one another you want to be able to allow

312

people that you interact with to you

and you want them to know that you them.

313

and respect their thoughts.

314

If, you disagree, you can disagree, it's

fine, you both are different people and

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you might not see things the same way.

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Those are basically the four steps,

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especially

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at step two, when it's more like

crafting the story, do you feel

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that everybody can craft a story?

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That everybody can be a storyteller?

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And I asked that because when I was

working in advertising earlier in my

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career, that's kind of what always,

people always try to get to the story,

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what's the story we're trying to tell.

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And sometimes people would be

like, I don't really have a story.

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I'm not a good storyteller.

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And when listening to those four

steps, it seems like anybody could

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have a story or anybody can, craft

that story in terms of a connection.

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And I was wondering what

your take is on that.

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Do you feel that anybody can

tell a story or what makes a good

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story that helps with connection?

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Absolutely.

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And I'm

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so I think that people can tell stories

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in the sense that They can relate, even

if they can't craft and develop a story

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on their own, they can find stories

that have themes in them that might be

336

helpful for a conversation or, for a

business proposition or what have you.

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So you don't have to be, creative

person, I think you can find

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stories that, that might relate.

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and that can be very helpful and

very powerful, but, There are

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marvelous stories in every culture

that hit on those emotional themes

341

that people have across cultures.

342

They use different language,

they use different characters,

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but the themes are similar.

344

And I think we can use those and

be very powerful in that regard.

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glad that you gave that as an example,

346

because I actually was going to ask you

when we're thinking about the four steps,

347

how they can be applied to strengthen

whether it's personal relationships,

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whether it's work relationships,

family, friends, can those steps be

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applied in all of those situations?

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think that the stretching, you know,

351

if you're going to a cocktail party and

you don't know anybody, you can buzz

352

in the bathroom and just stretch and

release that tension and take a few

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nice breaths and say, I can do this.

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I can calm down and I can

relate to people because.

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I am going to mindfully go in that room,

and I am going to relate to a few people,

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and I am going to pay attention to them.

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I'm going to listen with my whole body.

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I'm going to Perhaps even tell a little

story about my day so it gives me a

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way to Converse, but it's not magic and

it's not Hokey, it's being Real with the

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person that you're in front of one of

the examples that I give in my book It

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talks about feel like it's a gift and I'm

sure you've had this situation yourself

362

where you've engaged in a conversation

with somebody and you feel like you are

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the only person in the room because that

person is attending to you and they're

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interested and they're Asking relevant

questions but they're really focused on

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interacting with you as an interesting,

different person than they themselves are.

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And it is A wonderful experience

and very memorable because

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we don't always get that.

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You know, we have people talking to

us and they're looking to see who

369

else is in the room So I think it's

such a gift to be able to do that.

370

And I think it is absolutely

something that can be done by,

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people in, social settings.

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in professional settings.

373

And I think that when we do that

in a professional setting, the

374

employee who Never really settles

and never really pays attention.

375

They're just busy thinking

about where they need to go

376

next or what's on their desk.

377

They're not really interacting

individually with the people in their

378

meeting or with their supervisor or with

their colleagues or their supervisees.

379

so I think it's very appropriate for that.

380

Yeah, and I'm wondering, how does

381

it work in today's world where we

are living in such a digital world,

382

and the face to face interaction is

not as frequent as it used to be?

383

How do we still foster these principles

to form these genuine connections?

384

It's interesting.

385

That's a challenge to me.

386

But but it's interesting as I right

now, because I was used to working for

387

down the hallway and see my colleagues

388

and talk to them and problem solve.

389

But now that I'm writing and I have

begun to interact with groups of writers

390

online and they're from all over.

391

They make an effort to show up, share

what they're doing, ask what other people

392

are doing, and give or take advice.

393

I have to take a lot of advice

because I'm new to this.

394

it can be done.

395

but it takes attention just turning

off the text and things like that

396

so that you're not drawn away to

other things while you're trying to

397

connect online is important, I think.

398

I agree.

399

I think it's definitely challenging,

but it can be done with effort.

400

I've noticed that even something in

terms of, giving the space and the

401

patience and I think it's important

for us to hear someone's story and

402

not make judgments or assumptions.

403

even if it's through text social media

or a video call or something like that.

404

I know we're, we're in this world.

405

Of instant gratification, and we

like to rush things, and so we make

406

assumptions when somebody's talking or

assume what point they're trying to make

407

before they even say a point, and so

408

409

think, in the digital world,

410

it's good to just be patient.

411

and present, like you're saying,

412

413

just mindful of paying attention

414

and not trying to rush.

415

416

And I, I think that's difficult for some

417

people, but I think with some effort that

can definitely help with fostering those,

418

relationships and connection because

you're actually listening and responding

419

appropriately to what you've, and then I'm

going to say, um, uh, um, uh, um, uh, um,

420

uh, um, uh, um, uh, um, uh, uh, uh, uh,

uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

421

idea that there's a sender and a receiver.

422

the sender has a message and the

receiver hears a message, but the

423

receiver might not have heard the

message the sender was sending.

424

The sender's responsibility is

to check and make sure that the

425

message was received as intended.

426

or the receiver can check and

say, Is this what you meant?

427

And that's what you were

describing, but it's not verbal.

428

It's not face to face.

429

And so many, I think, disagreements

started or hurt feelings

430

or whatever through email.

431

Because some people aren't,

aren't real good at expressing

432

what they really mean by writing.

433

but I think that, reflective, receiving

information is really important.

434

And as you say, it takes time.

435

But.

436

The time is worth it because we

want to communicate effectively.

437

in your core happiness program,

you want people to be happy with

438

themselves and with other people.

439

that takes time.

440

If we just take for granted that whatever

the person said they meant, we could get

441

a whole lot of Difficulty with that, hurt

feelings, and miscommunication altogether,

442

want to go back to that because I'm hoping

443

you can explain more about the concept

of expanding the spiral of communication

444

and relationships and how that can

be effective in our day to day lives.

445

just a term that I thought of as I was

446

talking about communication, and that

listening to people if they're unique.

447

as if they're a person that

you've never met before.

448

Maybe they're from a different planet

and you're really interested in how

449

they, think and what they say and

what they eat for dinner and whatnot.

450

And so you do that, you're showing that

person that you really their uniqueness.

451

as you're willing to do the reflective

listening that we talked about in either

452

in terms of writing or in hearing, we

are actually building trust respect.

453

We're respecting them.

454

They're respecting our fairness.

455

They can trust us because if we

misunderstand, we're going to

456

check with them But over time it

can build because if that person

457

who's listening misunderstands,

but they're willing to hear.

458

A clarification, that

begins to build trust.

459

if you misunderstood them and you're

clarifying that You're helping them

460

to solve their problems in listening.

461

communicating.

462

And so giving them more language to use.

463

For example, for a young child or

maybe for a new employee, you're

464

giving them more language to use that's

more fine tuned to that industry,

465

that market that they're working in.

466

so that builds that sense of trust

and it helps them build confidence.

467

I love the fact that it's

468

touching on building trust.

469

I think that is, the foundation

of any successful relationship,

470

I'm wondering for anyone

who's struggling with.

471

Connection, whether it's with a family

member, a friend, a colleague, what is

472

one small but yet powerful step that

they could take today to help with that?

473

I think the one small step would

474

be to take that deep belly breath.

475

Just before interacting let that sink

through the soles of the feet so that

476

person is grounded, their lungs are

getting rid of toxins, their brain

477

is nourished with oxygen, then they

can say, I am ready to work on this.

478

479

Because if they are present

480

there's far greater chance that

some understanding will be reached

481

Mm hmm.

482

Mm hmm.

483

Or they, and they're, or they're

484

saying to themselves all of those

catastrophic thoughts that, Oh

485

no, this is not going to go well.

486

never get along.

487

This person never understands me.

488

And so that makes it so, because

only there in a difficult situation.

489

situation

490

491

mind's eye.

492

So if they can calm and they can

be grounded, have a much better

493

chance of relating effectively.

494

That's beautiful.

495

I love that because I think so many people

are, anxiety is a big thing nowadays.

496

I mean, we just are living in a

world where there are a lot of

497

things that people are anxious

about, and rightfully so.

498

But I think that is very important because

I think a lot of us, because there's

499

just so much anxiety, there's overwhelm,

stress, we, are often in a more closed

500

off state than we usually would be.

501

And so when we have that centering

breath and we are grounding ourselves,

502

I think that opens us up to receive.

503

So if somebody is communicating,

we're able to receive better.

504

And I think that we're able to communicate

better because we're coming more from

505

a place of calm, like you've said.

506

So I think that that's beautiful.

507

One of the things that I wanted to

talk about, I know we talked about

508

this a little bit, but you created

a free resource for the listeners

509

to download, which was the relating

effectively with your child.

510

And we talked about it a little bit

at the beginning of the episode, but

511

I wanted to bring it up again, because

I know that some people They struggle

512

connecting with their children and I

know we talked a little bit about things

513

that they could do in terms of the

connecting and play and quiet times like

514

going through those four steps, but can

you take us through just some common

515

communication mistakes that you have

seen parents make with their children

516

that should just be cautious to avoid.

517

Mm hmm.

518

Mm hmm.

519

Mm hmm.

520

Mm hmm.

521

about three different ways of parenting

522

and one of them is the authoritative

parent who is, it's my way or the highway,

523

and one of them is that parent who

wants to be a friend with the child and

524

doesn't want create any boundaries at

all, which can be equally as devastating.

525

And the third type, which is the one

where children , are most in school,

526

they get better grades, they have

better social skills and whatnot,

527

is that parent who has some clear

boundaries, but they are very loving.

528

and they expect their child to talk with

them about the boundaries and understand

529

them, but they're not punitive and

they're, they're again that parent who,

530

who talks and understands what their

child is dealing with and who they are.

531

Actually, they're not

the little me who will

532

Right.

533

as I say.

534

I know a lot of young parents who have

children in elementary to middle school

535

and they're, deeply trying, but they work

a full time job and they have a child or

536

two or and they believe that everything

is That their child wants to do and

537

things that other people's children want

to do should be what they're involved in.

538

many dance groups, sports teams

other kinds of clubs and things.

539

And so what happens is that

every evening they're, picking

540

up their child from school and

they're running them to an event.

541

And then they're driving through a fast

food restaurant, dinner in the car.

542

And then they come home and they

do a bit of homework and the

543

child has a bath and goes to bed.

544

That's well meaning, and it's okay.

545

I think children really need to expand

their ability and understand, what they

546

like to do and what they're good at.

547

, but for parents, I think that one is

one that if you, if they can slow down.

548

again, just because there are all

these things that are available, maybe

549

we need to take some time to interact

with them and let them relax, teach

550

them some ways of relaxing being calm

and thinking critically and planning

551

some little projects that they would do.

552

That's another part of the book Planning

some projects that a parent would

553

do with a child, at home, maybe it's

just drawing a picture of one of the

554

characters in their story that you're

going to hang on the, the refrigerator.

555

Mm hmm.

556

What materials do you want?

557

What kind of paper will you use?

558

Maybe one of them is about a, a bird.

559

And so, oh, I wonder what it would

be like to put a bird feeder out?

560

What would we need for that?

561

Can we make a bird feeder?

562

So that again, we begin to help

that child begin critical thinking,

563

is a way of planning something,

cooperating with somebody,

564

organizing materials, follow through.

565

Follow

566

567

is a big deal in critical thinking.

568

And it's not as receptive

as you're supposed to be.

569

and being on a team where maybe

you don't play very well anyway and

570

you sit on the bench, but you're

just there, you know, because it's

571

something that other people are doing.

572

again, it's like thinking about the

child as an individual and helping

573

them develop these individual

skills that might, you know, be

574

very helpful to them in the future.

575

Yeah, and then you also have another

576

book coming out in a couple of

months, I think, don't you, as the

577

that's focused on self help for

techniques for caregivers as well?

578

yeah, I do.

579

Thank you for reminding me.

580

The working title is Beat a Retreat.

581

582

Mm hmm.

583

Mm hmm.

584

where people who are caregivers, maybe

585

for children, maybe for unhealthy.

586

Family members or for elderly family

members, have a full time consideration,

587

and it's stressful because not only

are they dealing with their own issues,

588

but they're dealing with the A lot of

other issues for another person, at

589

least one other person, maybe a couple.

590

then they're also dealing

with the possibilities of what

591

might happen if, if they fail.

592

there's also that self critical piece.

593

But, they don't have time.

594

To go to a retreat center.

595

They don't have the money,

possibly, because worrying about

596

health care costs and things

597

598

to retreat is ways of, on a daily basis,

599

choosing the self help Kinds of things

like some of the exercises from yoga and

600

tai chi and qigong that are soothing.

601

Maybe not a full practice, but

things that one could do and repeat

602

that just, ah, they feel so good.

603

Or, different ways of breathing that,

that can relax when one is worried.

604

Self massage.

605

that can be used on hands and

feet, particularly neck, scalp,

606

but they're also wonderful to share

with the person you're caring for.

607

those are some issues.

608

Some skin care just a variety of things.

609

These are things that I've, I've

written about in my blogs over the

610

years to give people ways of, well,

meditation and visualization you

611

know, a gratitude journal or just

a variety of things like that.

612

But those kinds of ways of bringing

joy into your life in an inexpensive,

613

way that it doesn't take you through

the airport, and you don't need a

614

passport, and you don't need a chunk

of money to pay for in advance, and you

615

don't need to get vacation time off.

616

that's kind of, that's the, the tongue

in cheek kind of beater retreat kind

617

love that.

618

I know a lot of people can

benefit from techniques like that.

619

So that's fantastic.

620

Do you have, Right.

621

And so we will see you next I love that.

622

I love that.

623

so

624

treating each person that you encounter,

625

a store clerk, guy who's pushing all the

carts in from Costco or wherever, that

626

person as if they're special unique,

and just finding that when you do that,

627

You get greeted back the same way.

628

It's just lovely.

629

It's such a gift and it's such a surprise

because so many times when we're out and

630

about we feel invisible and so we can do

with total strangers as well as people

631

we really care for and it brings us joy.

632

much for joining us.

633

Bye.

634

Bye.

635

appreciate it.

636

To our core happiness

listeners, all of Dr.

637

Lewis's contact information will

be listed in the show notes as

638

well as a link to the free download

as well as her upcoming book.

639

I thank you for joining me today.

640

If you enjoyed this podcast, please

feel free to rate it or leave a review.

641

If you have any thoughts or questions,

I would love to hear from you.

642

You can email podcast core happiness.com.

643

For show notes and additional resources.

644

You can visit www.corehappiness.com.

645

as always, please remember, never

let anyone diminish your light.

646

Until next time, sending you my love.