Anyone who has to deal with negative people regularly knows just how challenging it can be. All the complaining and pessimism can bring your mood and energy down.
We are very social characters whom all crave to be accepted and connected to others, which often leads us to a place where we aim to please others. We want their acceptance, so even if we do not agree with them on something or their energy, we can sometimes, even subconsciously, match their energy because we feel it’s essential for that social connection, but it’s not.
More often than not, when people act negatively, it reflects what’s happening inside them. It may be a complicated, troubled past or something as simple as a bad day that angers a person. It’s not about you; it’s about them. If it happens occasionally or as a result of something they are going through, it is helpful to be sympathetic and to lend an ear to ensure they feel heard and understood. However, it is important to protect your energy if it goes on for too long or if they are constantly negative.
Here are some ways to deal with Negative People:
- Remember, it’s not about you: Put yourself in their shoes. Try studying the individual who’s hurting you. What’s going on in his life right now? Maybe he’s having family issues or a health crisis. e supportive, but remember you are not their problem solver. Listen with compassion, as needed but don’t absorb or add to their negativity. Avoid any argument, say, I don’t want to argue and try to move on.
- Meet their negativity with Positivity. Sometimes we inadvertently encourage the negative person by being too supportive. Instead, don’t engage fully in the conversation when someone is overly pessimistic. Rather, be enthusiastic and supportive when they’re being optimistic. Keep your responses and attention to a minimum when negative talk happens.
- Take charge of the conversation. If a topic of discussion is going too negative or you disagree with the opposing point of view, change the narrative and reframe it. Switching to a more positive vibe allows you to teach the negative person by leading a good example, responding calmly, and showing kindness. As a result, you’ll bring more happiness to others and find greater happiness yourself.
- Be Honest & Set Boundaries. Be open about your values so they can manage expectations around you. Let them know you feel the conversations have been too negative lately and would like to limit negativity. If they break that boundary, you can say, “This is the type of negativity I do not like,” You can try to change the conversation or end it. Avoid Trigger topics when dealing with a person with negative triggers such as work or Politics.
- Distance yourself. Give yourself a break and limit Interactions. You can choose to hang out in a group; the negative talker will usually be less intense when he doesn’t have the undivided attention of a single person. You can also pull back on the amount of time or how frequently you interact with this person. Or, if necessary, you can stop seeing them indefinitely, although that is usually the last option after other options have not worked.
Remember that overall, there is a balance between being there for a friend going through a hard time and supporting their constant negativity or pessimism. If you are willing to set, you can have a successful and healthy relationship with a negative person. However, understand that changes in your relationship or their energy may not happen immediately, so managing your expectations is essential. Above all else, the main takeaway here is that the only person you have control over is you, and the only person in charge of your happiness is you, so protect your energy, set boundaries, rise above when needed and try to stay more positive and help them reframe your thoughts.